Sunday, February 19, 2006

Dream II

Maybe the hole in the path refers to my unfortunate habit of sticking my foot in my mouth.
The path is clear, until I step in this hole
created by my own stupidity.

My mouth comes open,
and this shit just comes tumbling out.
Stuff that hurts me;
stuff that hurts others.

I can't seem to keep myself from doing it
any more than I can seem to keep myself from procrastinating,
even though I know in my heart of hearts
that my delay (or in this case the words I speak)
will lead to my ruination
requiring much patching-up.

But of course when you say something,
it's said.
Like squeezing toothpaste from a tube.
You can't put it back in once it's out.
And so you can't un-say words once they're spoken.
You can't run the clock backwards and meet a deadline
or research a paper you should have written months ago.

So you're stuck with a "C" average
even though you may have been an "A" student inside.

And so, to get back to the dream,
I'm precluded from reaching my destination
until I fill the hole back up again.

But the tide comes in, preventing me from traversing the path
or filling in the hole.

But the path wasn't just for me;
it was for other people too.
So my errors cause heartache for other people,
throwing them off their trajectory.

Maybe this makes sense,
and maybe it doesn't.

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